Often in society, health is
viewed as one of the most important aspects of human life, but what exactly is
health? Health is a personal goal that is unique to a specific person, and no
health goal is alike. In the case of Roxanne Edwards, she just wants to appear
more feminine despite being a professional body builder, which gives her more
of a manly appearance. And as for Heather Cassils, she is trying to achieve a
body that can neither be described as male or female. So in retrospect,
everybody ahs their own opinion on “health” and what it means to them personally.
Body builder Roxanne Edwards is
always trying to make herself look as feminine as possible while still
maintaining her large muscular build. Edwards explains in her interview that
she is often portrayed as manly, and she explains that she loses points in competitions
for appearing as such. While standing only 5 foot 3 inches, and weighting
around 138 pounds, she still manages to throw up insane numbers in the weight
room, such as 315 in bench press, squatting 275, dead lift 405, and incredibly
leg presses 1025. She shares the different types of muscular people starting
from cut, then to ripped, on to shredded, and finally pealed. Roxanne considers
herself as shredded and is quickly on her way to becoming pealed, explaining
how you can visually see some of the fibers in her abs moving underneath the
skin. Later she goes on to explain the difficulties and effects that women body
builders face, such as losing their breasts because the muscle takes over the
fatty tissue in the breasts, and how women body builders are often seen as unattractive
because of their stature. She personally loves to do nude modeling so she can
show off all of her hard work, even the parts of the body that are hidden by
clothing, but she says she isn't interested in doing erotica (S. Massey). Roxanne’s
body is an example of her own personal goals, because not all women have the
goal of being able to lift incredible weights, and become so toned that they
lose their feminine figure, but that is Roxanne’s motive. People may often
stare at Roxanne because she stands out in a crowd, as the large muscular woman,
but she still sticks to her goal, despite the outside influence people have
against her. Roxanne Edwards has a set goal when it comes to her health, and
nobody can stand in her way.
Heather Cassils is a fitness instructor with a very unusual body in the
eyes of the public. Cassils was born a female yet attains the body of an
extremely fit male. Cassils describes her body as unique and she likes it that
way. She has gone form being that fit chick at the gym, to becoming that ripped
person that everybody takes a second look at, and she has no problem with this.
Cassils has set a goal and that is to achieve a body that is neither described
as male or female, and she even explains that her diet, training, and steroid
use has been what has helped her achieve her goal (H. Cassils). Her goal may
not be exactly what every other man or woman would want, but that’s what makes
her herself and she’s not willing to let anyone get in the way of her achieving
her overall goal. Heather wants her health to be at a level she wants and that
she enjoys, which is what describes health in her own terms.
There is no specific description when it comes to a person’s health,
rather that it is strictly personal and opinion based. Just like DNA, no human
has the same goal when it comes to health. Both Roxanne Edwards and Heather
Cassils are great examples of this because they both have set goals that other
people may not agree with or accept, but that doesn’t keep the two girls from
achieving them. The society often tries to set a standard when it comes to
health, like you must have at least 60 minutes of exercise a day, or you must
eat this amount of calories per day, when in reality, there is no standard for
health and there can never be a standard, because people will just want to be
above or below it.
The author’s thesis statement is saying that everyone has their own opinion on what health is and no ones are the same as someone else. This thesis statement succeeds at making a debatable assertion because people can say health is different for everyone or that health has a set definition. That’s how it can be interesting because some people can agree or completely disagree. The author can improve by elaborating on their introduction paragraph so the reader can a little bit better of an idea on where she is going with her idea. The topic of the thesis is brought up in the paper when the author talks about how Roxanne Edwards and Heather Cassils both describe themselves in a way that most women wouldn’t describe themselves. This is showing that they both have an idea of health that pertains to what they want and their happiness, even though it may not be what other people would say health is. The argument develops through the paper by using two examples of people that have an obscure idea of health. The author can improve by at the end of each paragraph to reinforce the thesis statement again so the reader has no doubt about what the main idea of the paper is. I am convinced about the authors thesis statement but they could refine the thesis statement by being a little more specific about how Roxanne and Cassils idea of health is totally different. One thing I would want to see more of would be for the author to go into more detail in the conclusion to bring everything together and finish the paper with a strong statement.
ReplyDeleteDakotah asserts in his opening paragraph that health cannot be simply defined by words but rather by person. Because the idea is formed from his opinion, there is room for disagreement and ultimately debate. He focuses more on the physical aspect of health as the standard for his argument. He could develop a more complex thesis that gives insight to the different ways in which health differs other than the physical aspect. The paper does a good job at giving examples to support his original argument, however there is little development throughout the essay. Dakotah should circle back to his original statement after each example he gives. He reiterates his argument in the conclusion by comparing Cassils and Edwards to DNA and its originality. By this logic, his argument is reasonable and convincing. To improve the last paragraph, he should look over phrasing and adjust it to what he was attempting to say.
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